I have no answers for you, except that going somewhere new does tend to help me. I'm in a similar position, although I'm much older. But I have to do something on nights that I can't sleep. I guess this is just me venting, not like it will change anything. I'm sure no one will actually read all this, but thanks if you got this far. It's only a matter of time before I kill myself in order to escape. I'm never going to leave, but I don't want to grow old like this. My life is so completely dependent on this unhealthy world my parents built for me growing up that I can't function without it. But I never will, because I'd still be the same old piece of shit me with an unlikable personality, no interests or hobbies, and no will to work, just in a new place with no safety and comfort of everything I have now. I want to get in my car and drive until I run out of money. I want to leave this piece of shit life, if you can call it that, and go somewhere new and start over. I've seen therapists, been to the ER, have contemplated suicide, and have really grown to resent my parents and my family through this whole time (I haven't spoken to them in probably 3 months now, and on top of that I haven't had a conversation with anyone in probably a month and a half). I'm 19, I dropped out of college, and I've been living at my parents house for over half a year now doing literally nothing but sitting on my ass and barely existing. If you need to talk to someone at once, you may want to take a look at the hotlines list from /r/SuicideWatch We can't guarantee an immediate response, and there are times when this subreddit is relatively quiet. Please message us and we'll look into it. If your post or comment is not appearing, it may have been removed for a rule violation or it may be stuck in the filter. Please click 'report' to let us know of any inappropriate content you see here - we'd like to know and handle it as soon as we can. Most people are surprised by at least some of our policies so please read all of them carefully before jumping in. It might seem that we have a lot of rules, but we've found they're all necessary to maintain as much emotional and physical safety as possible. If you've lost someone to suicide, /r/SuicideBereavement is the best community to get support. If you want to talk about thoughts or risk of suicide, please post at /r/SuicideWatch. Posts here need to be support requests specifically related to depression, and comments need to be supportive of the OP. Depression is both important and difficult to talk about so focus is essential. We offer a peer-support space for anyone dealing with a depressive disorder in themselves or someone close to them.

I hate being stuck at home